Relief, Guilt, Repeat: Why It’s Okay to Feel Both When the Kids Go Back to School

I don’t know about you, but every September brings me the same cocktail of emotions. A messy, swirling mix of relief and guilt that never seems to settle, no matter how many years I’ve done this.

Feeling relief? Don't let guilt ruin your 'me' time.

One part of me is practically skipping out of the school gates, humming like some sort of deranged Mary Poppins, at the thought of finally having a moment’s peace. And then, before I’ve even reached the car, the guilt creeps in.

“What sort of mother looks forward to being away from her children?” Apparently, me and (whisper it) probably you too.

Because the truth is, it’s exhausting, this whole

parenting lark(and I've been doing it for 27 years). The endless snack demands, the lost shoes, the arguments over screen time, the 74,000 questions before 9am… it’s relentless and loving them, desperately and fiercely,  doesn’t make it any less so.

So yes, when the school holidays finally end, it’s okay to breathe out. In fact, it’s necessary.

ChaLuMu MaMa Necklace in Silver & Black

The Guilt Spiral

Of course, the guilt always tries to crash the party. It tells us we’re ungrateful, selfish or worse, bad mums. For me, it sometimes dredges up old wounds, old voices that taught me I should be better, quieter, stronger, less… me. Trauma has a funny way of lingering, doesn’t it?

But here’s what I’ve learnt, guilt is not a reliable narrator. It’s loud, yes, but it’s not necessarily truthful. Feeling relief when your kids go back to school doesn’t mean you love them any less. It just means you’re human.

Breathing Space

One thing that’s helped me is giving myself permission to pause, to literally stop and breathe.

I spent so many years rushing from one crisis to another, living in survival mode, that I’d forgotten how to actually breathe. Properly. Fully. And that’s one of the reasons we created the ChaLuMu necklace.

We wanted to make something beautiful and practical that women could wear anytime, something discreet that looks like jewellery but doubles as a mindful breathing tool when life feels overwhelming.

It’s simple: inhale deeply through your nose, then exhale slowly through the pendant. Within seconds, your breath deepens, your heart rate slows and you feel just a little more grounded.

And unlike other breathing necklaces on the market, ChaLuMu is about quality and design as much as function. These aren’t plain clinical tubes, they’re elegant pieces you’ll actually want to wear, with gorgeous finishes like snake print, leopard print, and other beautiful designs.

It’s something you can reach for in a moment of stress, without anyone even realising you’re doing it.

Giving Yourself Permission

So, if you’ve felt that strange, bittersweet pang standing outside the school gates, the one where relief and guilt arrive hand-in-hand, please know this:

You are not alone. You are not a bad mum. And you are allowed to feel both things at once.

You’re allowed to breathe. You’re allowed to want space. You’re allowed to be you, alongside being theirs.

And maybe, just maybe, if we gave ourselves a little more grace, a little more room to exhale, the guilt wouldn’t have quite so much power over us.

This September, I’m choosing to let myself breathe. Slowly. Deeply. Fully. And if you’d like a little reminder to pause and do the same, the ChaLuMu necklace is a beautiful, discreet way to bring mindful breathing into your everyday life.

ChaLuMu Wild Zen Silver Snake-print Necklace